Have you ever had someone say something to you that was hurtful or unnecessarily nasty and it caused you to want to react back equally negatively? I’ve been in that situation and even though I know it’s not about me and the person is venting their own pain or suffering and even though I know better, sometimes I really want to just let it fly. It’s at times like those that I remember this story that usually helps me shift into a more helpful response.
Cindy was on a long overdue holiday in Mexico and after unpacking she changed into a sundress and headed to the pool to lay in the late afternoon sun and just relax. She was so excited to relax and unwind and do nothing. She ordered a cold beer from the pool bar and then found a chair and stretched out in total bliss. Her bliss was cut short by a noisy kid who swam into the end of the pool and began playing near where she was. This kid was playing in such a way that Cindy was getting splashed. The splashing not only interupted her brief moments of peace it was also getting her dress all wet. Cindy says she wasn’t going to let this ruin her first day of vacation so she made up her mind to just ignore the kid and let the sun dry her off. The splashing however got worse and after tolerating it for a few minutes Cindy got up and went to the edge of the pool to see who was responsible for all the noise. When she looked in the water she saw a young boy drowning… splashing at the water trying to stay afloat. Cindy immediately jumped in and pulled him to safety. Cindy never for a moment considered just splashing back at him. She reached in to help.
I think of this story when someone says or does something that in the moment feels hurtful and uncalled for. I think : “They are splashing because they are drowning”. That makes it easier for me to reach in and see what I can do to help rather than react by splashing back. Things just aren’t always what they seem to be. When someone splashes you with toxic or hurtful words remember that splashing back won’t help them or make you feel better. You would certainly not feel good splashing back at someone who was drowning. Reaching in and offering your hand may however save their life. Hurting people, hurt people and emotionally drowing people splash those around them.
This is a great reminder. I still struggle with feeling like the person is judging me and reacting because I don’t want to be judged. Thinking about this story will help me to remember that when someone “splashes” me it’s never about me and I should look to see if there is some way I can help them.